aaaaaahhh@#&%#%$&$
I just sat here for 45 minutes typing and then just as I was typing my last sentence....my sweet little daugter who had been playing happily in my lap, grabbed the mouse, clicked something and POOF! Gone! It was a good blog too. It was well written, it was humorous, it had suspense, I was proud of this one. Now it is gone and so I am going to go do dishes now and get back to the work I should have been doing in the first place.
posted by Stahled at
9:06 AM
17 Comments:
THATS what hit me in the head as I drove past your house today! It WAS a good one.
This is blog-zen at work. You are one step closer to blog-nirvana.
D'oh!!
Thats horrible! I've had that happen with blogs, emails, etc. - you click the blessed "BACK" button to no avail. sick sick sick. Rarely do I have the will to attempt to retype it. Just think - its joined the realms of the lost blog... a collection of incredible literature that was snarfed by some quasi-techno force and gobbled into oblivion.
Well lets make up a good blog for lynnette then shall we?
She was at home alone with babe sumbering when she heard a 'raping on the door. "who is it?" she called from the den, hushing her voice from a soundly sleeping baby. She rushed to warn her guest and opened the door to...
Any one care to finish?
...discover a travelling Dixie jazz band, sent by her well-meaning but obviously un-thinking husband to play her some music to cheer her up. Before Lynnette could say "SSSHHHH!!" they kicked into a rousing version of...
raspberry beret by prince. The twang of the Dixie banjo became instantly hypnotic, capturing her in a sleepy state. Lynnette was powerless to stop the husband-sent villain and she was lured to the...
...kitchen stove to cook them all a pie. They played and played as our dazed heroine made pastry after pastry, one pie for each. And they were a big band. Who would save our feisty, floured female from the hand of these fiddling felons?
The band had moved from Prince to James Brown to Def Leppard. It was becoming too painful to endure!! Just as Lynette was about to collapse from sheer mental strain...
the floor began to shake. The cups in the cupboard raddled against each other and the microwave was migrating across the countertop. The horrendous quaking through members of the band off time. The Dixie version of ‘Who let the dogs out’ crumbled as each pie wobbled off the table. Broken from the tempest of Dixie hypnosis, or dixnosis, Lynnette’s actions were reviled to her and she began to fight back. However, the utter exhaustion of pie-making and dixnosis had left her drowsy and strained. She plunged a hot, oven fresh pie into the face of the lead Dixier and ran for the door. Hitting walls and fumbling with the doorknob, Lynnette managed the complex lock and opened the door only to stare face-to-face, eye-to-eye with…
...what could only "appear" to be her lovely husband coming home from a long days work of lumber-jacking carpentry! But when she gazed deep into his eyes... and when i say eyes... i meen the soul... she knew it couldn't be the faithful man she married... Suddenly the look-a-mike-a-like unzipped it's false body suit and proceeded to...
probe Lynnette’s body with a long proboscis (I’ve been dying to use that word). The cranial extension moved in on Lynnette’s…mouth. Inches from entering her oral cavity, she pulled the fleshy tube from its grotesque head. It’s weighty structure proved to be quite damaging against the creatures feeble frame. The repetitious blows caused the sebaceous secretions on the skin of the intruder to fly onto Lynnette’s face and trickle into her mouth causing instant…
... gagging and vomiting as the horrible taste registered. The band had slowly filed out the door after the look-a-mike-a-like's explosion. Lynnette and the baby were finally alone in the house, so she began to clean up the mess until...
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Lynette began to sit down and bawl....
after a few good minutes of gut wrenching sobbing Lynette stopped, took a deep breathe looked into her sweet baby girl's eyes and began laughing hysterically.
...unfortunately the laughing didn't last for very long. The babys eyes grew pitch black and sunk into her skull. A putrid beast unzipped yet another fake-family-member suit and slurmed out of what Lynette thought was her wee Salem. She was too terrified to scream. Where was the lumberjack-man - that nearly bald hero to come with his axe and vanquish this hidious abomination? But before she could even reel in horror...
...she realized that she had a zipper-pull under her own chin! She was a monster, too!! What a relief. Lynette unzipped her fake-family-member suit and slithered out as it fell, limp, to the floor. Finally things could start to get to normal around here! Instead of cleaning up the goo, she decided to...
eat it. She found the smell was delicious and to be of great nutritional value to her. After the last bit of goo had been lapped clean, she picked up Salem and headed for the door. Outside the traveling Dixie band was waiting on her on the front step and they all gave each other agreeing looks.
Meanwhile, down at Mrs. Jenkins house she was having a quick nap after vacuuming the house. She heard a rap at the door and when to answer it. “Oh, hello Lynnette, Salem. Can I help you?”
As she stared into Lynnette’s eyes she knew something was wrong.
“Raspberry beret,” Lynnette whispered.
“Pardon me dear?” Mrs. Jenkins replied.
“The kind you find at a second hand store.” Mrs. Jenkins back began to straighten. The Dixie band behind Lynnette strummed their instruments of death softly. “Raspberry beret and if it was warm she wouldn’t wear much more.” The screen door separating the group from Mrs. Jenkins opened as the dixnosis took its effect. “Raspberry beret I think I love her.”
The End
Well that was a good story Lynnette, my day was not nearly as fun. From Dixie band to probosci to look-a-mike-a-like i‘twas a good story.
wow!!
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