my purpose
So maybe I am just hormonal or something but lately I have to admit I have been having a rough go of it. I love being a wife and Mommy ( my amazing daughter turns one on sunday and is walking all over the place) but I feel like I am not really fulfilling my purpose in life. Maybe my purpose is to do laundry and make sure my family eats enough vitamins so that they can fulfill THEIR purposes but if that is really all I am meant to do shouldn't I enjoy it a little more.
A few weeks ago we had some dear friends over who prayed with us and prophesied over us. We were told that God has big things in store for us but we have a false humility that is holding us back from fulfilling that potential. I dont know what to do with that information. I wish I knew what it was that God was asking us to do. I wish I could find things to do that used my gifts. I wish I knew what my gifts were.
I need a hobby. I need something I actually enjoy doing. Sure there are things I want to do. It just seems like they all cost money. They all seem selfish too. Im going to list them anyways and if you feel led you can comment on whether or not they are selfish. Here goes
1 take voice lessons (cost)
2 learn photography (need a decent camera)
3 acting (takes time away from family)
4 paint my house (cost, is it being materialistic to spend $ decorating a perfectly good, albeit ugly house?)
I was playing soccer twice a week (see previous blog) and that was fantastic. When I was playing I wasnt a mom, or a wife. I was just me burning off all the stress of my days and laughing it up with a bunch of ladies who were doing the same thing. Well, I sprained my ankle a few weeks ago in an unfortunate spying incident, and have not been able to play anymore. My poor husband now gets all my stressful outbursts instead. Thus the reason I am blogging. Maybe if I get all this off my chest before he comes home I wont have to wreck his day. Well I must run. Its that time of day where I once again need to feed my family.
A few weeks ago we had some dear friends over who prayed with us and prophesied over us. We were told that God has big things in store for us but we have a false humility that is holding us back from fulfilling that potential. I dont know what to do with that information. I wish I knew what it was that God was asking us to do. I wish I could find things to do that used my gifts. I wish I knew what my gifts were.
I need a hobby. I need something I actually enjoy doing. Sure there are things I want to do. It just seems like they all cost money. They all seem selfish too. Im going to list them anyways and if you feel led you can comment on whether or not they are selfish. Here goes
1 take voice lessons (cost)
2 learn photography (need a decent camera)
3 acting (takes time away from family)
4 paint my house (cost, is it being materialistic to spend $ decorating a perfectly good, albeit ugly house?)
I was playing soccer twice a week (see previous blog) and that was fantastic. When I was playing I wasnt a mom, or a wife. I was just me burning off all the stress of my days and laughing it up with a bunch of ladies who were doing the same thing. Well, I sprained my ankle a few weeks ago in an unfortunate spying incident, and have not been able to play anymore. My poor husband now gets all my stressful outbursts instead. Thus the reason I am blogging. Maybe if I get all this off my chest before he comes home I wont have to wreck his day. Well I must run. Its that time of day where I once again need to feed my family.
posted by Stahled at
4:09 PM
5 Comments:
Paula said me living here has been like watching a part of me die. I've been looking for the same you are looking for. I've asked the same questions, prayed the same prayers. If you find "it" let me know please...because I'm dying out here.
I'll HAPPILY help you paint! Call me.
It is not selfish to keep yourself fulfilled. It is necessary. You can't keep meeting the needs of your family without filling your tank as well.
Voice lessons: what is the cost? Is it doable?
Photography: Good cameras ARE expensive, but deals can be found. How much are you willing to spend?
Acting: time away from the family, if it is done with their support, brings you back a happier wife and mom. Crabby mom who is there all the time, or happy mom who is missing for a few hours a week? Seems like a no-brainer to me!!
Paint my house: Don't accept ugly! You don't have to hire a decorator and spend thousands of dollars, but God wants beauty in this world, and your home is part of that. Do what you can to make it a place you love to be.
When Meadow was 1, I was playing guitar in a rock-n-roll band. My interests have been changing ever since, which drives Lance nuts, but if I don't have something creative happening, then I go nuts. Go for it, Lynette!
Spying incident?? Sounds interesting...
I hear your pain...as does probably every woman in our culture who decides to be a stay at home mom. Our society has done a fabulous job of de-valueing the role of a mother. What, after-all are you "producing"? What are you 'contributing' to society? How is it that society so undervalues children that their care is considered to be a 'nothing' kind of job?
Please don't buy into the BS. You have the most important job in the world! You have been entrusted to raise this little angel well. It is the only job that you will ever know fully and completely is really truly the will of God.
There are financial sacrifices...but the payoff is so worth it. Remember the payoff when your scared about the sacrifices.
Just a little rant from someone who's been there. And yes, if you can possibly swing it...paint the house.
Hi, was blog surfing, found your blog and Daryls. Couldn't help commenting on this one. I went through that last year. I wrote a whole article on it. I prayed often that God would show me what my purpose was. Well, it has been a long haul, and I have found a couple of things on the way. As much as Christians like to use the answer, "Christ is the answer." That is nice, but it really doesn't help a person figure out why they feel like they have missed the boat. I believe that if we ask, God will show us what we need to know. I have learned a lot that brought me out of the funk. Meanwhile, I read today in Eccl. that "eternity is in our hearts." I am not sure that we will ever feel completely complete until we get to heaven. This earth is so SHALLOW, and does not fulfill.
Hey wish I was blogging when you wrote this blog. Hopefully you read it.
That is the fun part of being a feeler huh..... trying to figure out where you fit and you feel everything so darn deeply.
I know how you feel, I feel like it most days. Honestly it drives me crazy too. In fact there are times my hubby is out at restaurants for lunch (mostly business meetings) but nice restaurants and I find myself getting jealous. So I ask God to help me with my attitude.
It is hard when you have lil ones cuz the brunt of the work with them usually lands on us. It does not seem fair but there will be a day you will want the days back where they were little and they did not talk back...most of all that they were not hormonal. Lord knows my hormones should be enough.
Let's pray and ponder on this one together.
PAINT TOOO...there is a sale on paint right now at Country Decor. We are even though we can't "afford it". A lift of paint does the heart good and the Glidden paint is really cheaper than most other options and on sale. Yeah.....
Dana :-)
PS We need to get together more to get each other out of our funk....
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