Temper Tantrums
So first off I would like to say that "the Terrible Two's" is an incredibly inaccurate saying. Maybe my child is just advanced but at 16 months we are fully engulfed in the "testing of boundaries" This was something I knew was coming. I have worked with enough children to know that it is a perfectly normal stage and depending on how it is handled can mold what the next several years of discipline will entail. My question is Why the crap does everyone else not seem to realize that temper tantrums are a normal part of toddler hood. Allow me to explain.
How many times have you been in a store and seen ( more like heard) a child screaming at the
top of their lungs. Correct me if I am wrong but it seems fairly frequent to me. So then why does everyone stop and stare like they are seeing some grotesque freak of nature. First off a child throws a tantrum because they want attention. Stop giving them attention and eventually they will stop. Dont stop and stare and give the parents unwanted advice. YOU ARE MAKING THINGS WORSE. Today for example was one of those days. My sweet little daughter was testing the waters. Ok, I get my battle face on and Im ready to dance. We go for a walk outside and she insists on walking rather than riding in the stroller. Fine. Well then she decides she is not going to follow where we need to go and that she should stand in the middle of streets with lots of traffic. This is where things get good. After warning her that if she doesnt walk nice then she will have to ride in the stroller, she tries to run away. I put her in the stroller and the screaming begins. So does the staring. An older man stops right beside us and says very condesendingly, " Well maybe she will come with me" I smile and then turn and ignore him. He continues to stand there until I have things under control. Ready to Jump right in.
A few minutes later we have another little challenge and when the screaming begins, a woman walks up to us and says " What seems to be the problem, Why is she so angry?" I explain even though it is none of this random strangers business. She tells me that my child has too much of a temper for her age. I again smile, and turn and walk away. Who are these people? Leave me alone to parent my child. Every child in the world pushes the limit sometimes. Dont look at me like Im a bad parent when I am teaching my child a lesson. Just help me out by completely ignoring us and carrying on with your own business.
That feels better. I just needed to get this off my chest so that I am in a better state of mind to deal with the next tantrum.
How many times have you been in a store and seen ( more like heard) a child screaming at the
top of their lungs. Correct me if I am wrong but it seems fairly frequent to me. So then why does everyone stop and stare like they are seeing some grotesque freak of nature. First off a child throws a tantrum because they want attention. Stop giving them attention and eventually they will stop. Dont stop and stare and give the parents unwanted advice. YOU ARE MAKING THINGS WORSE. Today for example was one of those days. My sweet little daughter was testing the waters. Ok, I get my battle face on and Im ready to dance. We go for a walk outside and she insists on walking rather than riding in the stroller. Fine. Well then she decides she is not going to follow where we need to go and that she should stand in the middle of streets with lots of traffic. This is where things get good. After warning her that if she doesnt walk nice then she will have to ride in the stroller, she tries to run away. I put her in the stroller and the screaming begins. So does the staring. An older man stops right beside us and says very condesendingly, " Well maybe she will come with me" I smile and then turn and ignore him. He continues to stand there until I have things under control. Ready to Jump right in.
A few minutes later we have another little challenge and when the screaming begins, a woman walks up to us and says " What seems to be the problem, Why is she so angry?" I explain even though it is none of this random strangers business. She tells me that my child has too much of a temper for her age. I again smile, and turn and walk away. Who are these people? Leave me alone to parent my child. Every child in the world pushes the limit sometimes. Dont look at me like Im a bad parent when I am teaching my child a lesson. Just help me out by completely ignoring us and carrying on with your own business.
That feels better. I just needed to get this off my chest so that I am in a better state of mind to deal with the next tantrum.
posted by Stahled at
3:48 PM
8 Comments:
Hey girl,
That sucks that people are harrassing you. How bizarre. Yes temper tantrums are normal and Lord knows I am not looking forward to baby Z doing that. Actually he has started doing this grunting or borderline scream when he wants to have a bottle or nurse. I have started having to tell him to ask nice and he is only 8 months old. AHHHHHHHHH.
Keep strong... this too shall pass but I am baffled that people have the nerve to say stuff. What goofs.
Love ya.
Dana
Here's how the conversation would have gone if it was me.
"What seems to be the problem? Why is she so angry?"
"She doesn't want to do what I told her to."
"She has too much temper for a girl her age!"
"Yeah? Well she takes after me exactly. Now mind your own business!"
Mostly, when I see a parent dealing with a screamer, I nod sympathetically and stay the heck out of the way. And then I have a little laugh because I'm over that stage.
Oh, wait. Meadow just turned 13. AGH!!!!!
I think I said it before, but I'll say it again: I love that you are going through this before me!
Strangers tend to avoid me in Three Hills, which goes very far in the opposite direction of small-town life. Too many people still think they have a right to include themselves in every aspect of everyone else's lives. The gang from Little House on the Prairie knew everyone else and their business...so it is in small-town, Alberty. I recall when a woman touched a pregnant friend's boobs and made a comment! I wouldn't even do that!!
I like how you 2 parent that unit!
"Truck" what other's think....
Wow, hopefully your little one turns out as polite as you. Me and my big mouth would not have responded so nicely. I have to say though, I do love watching a good temper tantrum when the parent is handling things well (watching secretly, of course), only comments I ever make are to congratulate parent when it is over. We all need a pat on the back sometimes. Here is yours... job well done Mommy!
Preach it sister! (Hey, you really ARE my sister)... Anyway. I'm such a judgmental guy, I'd probably be the one standing off to the side watching the whole fiasco thinking, "Pffffft. Get yer kid under control, woman!" And then I would realize that my own child is running away from me and knocking myriads of cereal boxes onto the floor. Then I'd be the one throwing a temper tantrum. And then I would realize, as I often do, that yup, I'm an idiot.
Hey lady...just wanted to say that I love the color of your kitchen. It seriously makes the room look alive (unlike 'corpse') and makes it appear like there's more light in the room. AWESOME! Well done...unlike our first attempt at Salem's room....
Secondly (is that a word?)...you are a WONDERFUL mother. I love the way you handle Salem!!! And I can't believe that people actually come up and say something!!! That's amazing to me.
I've had those looks, I've had the comments... it makes me wonder, are their memories that bad? Don't they remember their own "darlings" challenging times?
My angelic (he does have some people fooled) 2 year old, could get anything from one grandparent with a bit of a pout, and it IS extra frustrating trying to deal with a screaming wee one and a medling big one at the same time... now with a baby who sometimes chooses to scream at the same time, interfearers beware...
You are one of the most fun, down to earth little mothers I know, so hang in there!
Isn't it good these children are so cute!
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