Friday, December 15, 2006

Expansion

So I just got back from my doctor after hearing my baby's heartbeat for the first time. I dont really know how do describe the feeling. I dont think it is possible to understand until one day a doctor puts some cold weird jelly on your belly and you hear a speedy little lub dub coming from your own body. Incredible! This was a big milestone for me being at 14 weeks pregnant. Watching friends lose their pregnancy in these few fragile weeks has put some fear into me. I keep thinking that I dont deserve a healthy pregnancy any more than they deserved to lose their babies. I still look at my beautiful 15 month old daughter and wonder why God allowed me to have such an amazing child and now he is letting me go for another. I sometimes feel guilty even wanting more children. It seems like when someone gives you a present and you're like" hey thanks this is great, how bout some more". What a selfish child I am.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are one of the most beautiful mums I know.Your family is fortunate to be privileged to share in everything God lays before you.
Pj taught me years ago, to accept all the gifts that I am given. In doing so, I bless the giver beyond measure.
Your very life is a gift, and all that goes with it. Grab all of it greedily!

12/17/2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And motherhood, while it is a great blessing, is anything but a selfish choice!! I think the term is "selfless". LOL!!!

12/18/2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

true, sometimes, like now, with a small baby up in the middle of the night with eyes drooping, I think women are crazy creatures... why do we want to do this?!?

But thank you Lord, for this craziness.

12/18/2006  
Blogger Take 2 said...

Hey girl,

God is giving you lil blessings to raise for Him and His purposes. It is an honour and you must never feel guilty for all the good gifts God gives you.

There are reasons for some people to lose their babies. Some we may never know. One reason so we can comfort others that hurt, another because something was wrong with that lil person. The cool thing is we will see our lil babes in heaven one day. I know I will.

As I hug my sweet baby and get mugged by his bigger, stronger older brother and listen to my daughter giggle I thank God for the blessings of my children. It is amazing watching them grow up.

Love ya. Take care, take naps. Feel happy.

Dana

12/18/2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lynnette pregnancy is nothing compared to holding a newborn in your arms. When I have lost a baby someone said to me first fall in Gods arms and realize the pure joy of knowing that there is a heavenly playground full of children wanted desperately here by couples trying and also ones cast aside like they are nothing by ones who do not want anything to do with them (the numbers are atrocious). Second lean into the love of your life here and keep trying. And third relax in the beauty of life all around especially if you have a little someone to watch grow up already. Cheers to your pregnancy and any others you choose to have in the future.

12/20/2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The hardest thing for me to believe is that God gives good gifts. I look at the beautiful children that our friends and family have and I can't believe that God would really give us something so wonderful to have and to love. I certainly don't deserve it.

But this past year we stepped out in faith (a few times) and now that we are in the last few days before the baby arrives I'm slowly realizing that God's plan is perfect. No matter what He holds in store His grace and love is sufficient for me.

1/02/2007  
Blogger Born to be Transformed said...

OK, here's a different veiw for you to look at. The little angel that you and hubby are raising right now is yours to raise, teach, protect, and prepare for the world ahead of her. But who's is she? Who truly looks after her?
Who loves her the most? and finally......who created her?

The same goes for your new edition as well as for every one of us who ever has,is or will be, in the future.

Every one of us has a purpose, and God will lead us all to that purpose.

Rather than feeling as if God is giving you more than you deserve, maybe it's a matter of......"Thank you God for entrusting me with raising another one of YOUR children.

just a thought.

1/17/2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Lynnette! Congratulations on the new baby coming! I had no idea you have a blog... are we bad at keeping in touch or what?! I have loved reading up on your life though. My memories with you are among the best of my life and I hope my kids get to grow up with such a great friend as I did.
Write me...
Love, Bethany

1/20/2007  

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