Tired
So tonight I am writing out of exhaustion and frustration and the need to vent somewhere, Anywhere. Im sure any mother out there will understand what I am talking about when I say I am stretched incredibly thin right now and feeling very alone. Allow me to explain.
Today is day 4 of watching my little 17 month old vomit every scrap of food I can get her to eat, which isnt much to start with. It all started Saturday night at about 11 pm. After about 12 hours of vomitting and at least five loads of laundry, we took her to emergency because she was showing all the signs of dehydration. They watched her at the hospital for about an hour and of course she never threw up while we were there. That would have made our visit look a little more legit. I always feel like they think I am an over paranoid mother when I take her in. I feel like they look at me and think "oh young new mom". Ask most people that know me and they will tell you I am pretty layed back for a first time through. So after feeling relieved that my baby was on the mend and stupid for wasting doctors valuable time, we came home to do more laundry.
At this point I thought we were in the clear. But a few hours later the fever started. After battleing that for the rest of the night I fell into an exhausted sleep thinking it would all be over in the morning. Now remember that part at the beginning of this blog where I mentioned day four?
Each day seems like things are getting better and just when I think I have done the last load of laundry and cleaned up the last carpet mess it seems to start all over. Yesterday there was a whole other adventure thrown into the mix. The town shut off my water from 8 in the morning till 11:30 at night. Apparently no one told them I had sick toddler.
The hardest part is feeling so incredibly helpless. She is skinny to start with but now I can see her ribs and her little tummy doesnt stick out any more. When she throws up she looks at me crying and asking to be all done. Sometimes she says sorry because she thinks she is being punished. I am just so tired and helpless. Mike is going to school in the city during the day and so I am home alone with no car. He has so much studying and homework to do when he is home that he cant really help out. I know this can't last forever, its just hard when I am in the middle of it. I've never quite felt emotions like this. This whole motherhood thing is a crazy job.
Today is day 4 of watching my little 17 month old vomit every scrap of food I can get her to eat, which isnt much to start with. It all started Saturday night at about 11 pm. After about 12 hours of vomitting and at least five loads of laundry, we took her to emergency because she was showing all the signs of dehydration. They watched her at the hospital for about an hour and of course she never threw up while we were there. That would have made our visit look a little more legit. I always feel like they think I am an over paranoid mother when I take her in. I feel like they look at me and think "oh young new mom". Ask most people that know me and they will tell you I am pretty layed back for a first time through. So after feeling relieved that my baby was on the mend and stupid for wasting doctors valuable time, we came home to do more laundry.
At this point I thought we were in the clear. But a few hours later the fever started. After battleing that for the rest of the night I fell into an exhausted sleep thinking it would all be over in the morning. Now remember that part at the beginning of this blog where I mentioned day four?
Each day seems like things are getting better and just when I think I have done the last load of laundry and cleaned up the last carpet mess it seems to start all over. Yesterday there was a whole other adventure thrown into the mix. The town shut off my water from 8 in the morning till 11:30 at night. Apparently no one told them I had sick toddler.
The hardest part is feeling so incredibly helpless. She is skinny to start with but now I can see her ribs and her little tummy doesnt stick out any more. When she throws up she looks at me crying and asking to be all done. Sometimes she says sorry because she thinks she is being punished. I am just so tired and helpless. Mike is going to school in the city during the day and so I am home alone with no car. He has so much studying and homework to do when he is home that he cant really help out. I know this can't last forever, its just hard when I am in the middle of it. I've never quite felt emotions like this. This whole motherhood thing is a crazy job.
posted by Stahled at
8:11 PM
4 Comments:
Hey girl....
Crazy and thankless most of the time. But it does break your heart to see your sweet babe hurt. I wish I had a magic answer but my answer is this..... I am going to pray for you big time.
Lord help this sweet family in the midst of this trial. Help L and S to get over this hump. Help S keep her food down and give L patience and tons of extra love to provide all that her baby girl needs. Amen
Hugs to you girl... I am there with you and my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Baby Z is teething and crying in pain tons through the night and day so I understand the extra attention factor of exhaustion but I don't understand your factor of dealing with the pucking and no water. YUK......
Don't forget the lil person inside of ya zapping your energy. Remember you are an awesome mommy. I am proud to call you friend.... you are amazing.
Love ya.
Dana
Awww, was just wondering as I clicked on your site how all of that was going... not how I hoped. After seeing you on Tuesday, so far my boys havn't shown any signs... good for me, but doesn't fix your prob. I will be praying for you and the wee lass. Hang in there, Mike's almost done school, they should leave your water alone now, and my little chap was impressed with S's knees, he mentioned them a couple of times on the way home!
Take care of yourself.
I'm trying to persuade a 4 month old that 4am is a brilliant time to be sleeping!
I HAVE A VAN! CALL ME...if you need to go sommewhere or get somehing, etc. In the meantime, I have limited experience, but I know about feeling alone and like you're not doing a good job. All Satan's lies! Youare doing great. And sorry about the water shut-off...that sucks!
I'll pray for you today.
Like I said when I called you...anything, anytime. Just holler!
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