Pain

We received the news yesterday that my cousins step daughter was killed, just 4 days before christmas. I feel so helpless and so far away. I feel guilty celebrating Christmas with my children when members of my family are in agony knowing their Christmas will be empty and painful. How do you reach out? What can you do? I want to love them with the kind of love Jesus promises but what does that actually look like?

Teen girl killed in Quesnel crash
Written by FRANK PEEBLES
Citizen staff
Sunday, 21 December 2008


A teenaged girl was killed in a highway crash between Prince George and Quesnel.
The two-vehicle crash happened at about 1:45 p.m. Sunday on Highway 97 near the Ahbau Street Bridge, located about 20 kilometres north of Quesnel.
RCMP Sgt. Reinhold Weissbock, commander of North Cariboo Traffic Services, said the crash was between a southbound Toyota RAV4 and a northbound Honda CRV.
"(The southbound RAV4) pulled out from the slow laneonto the fast lane while attempting to pass another southbound vehicle," Weissbock said. "As the RAV4 switched lanes it lost control, causing the vehicle to go into a counterclockwise rotation. (The) northbound CRV collided with the passenger side of the RAV4.
"The 17-year-old female driver of the RAV4 was pronounced deceased at the scene," said Weissbock said. "The female passenger of the RAV4 and the male driver of the CRV suffered some major but non-life-threatening injuries."
Alcohol and speed were not believed to be factors in the wreck, police said. The investigation is underway. The road at the time was "in good winter conditions," while snowing and about minus-22.
The deceased girl's name will not be released, out of respect for her family, said police. RCMP expressed their deepest sympathies to the victims' loved ones, and also expressed thanks to the people who stopped to lend assistance at the scene until emergency crews could intervene.

Seasons

Disclaimer: This blog contains negativite and sarcastic comments that may offend some super moms. It will not likely leave the reader feeling happy or uplifted in anyway. If you still feel like reading it, go ahead but dont say I didnt warn you.

As the seasons change to cold again, we prepare to seal up the house for the impending wind and snow, We are sealing our windows with unattractive plastic. We make sure our doors close tightly. Sometimes I wonder if we are really keeping out the cold or just locking ourselves in. Winter comes and with it comes snow suits mittens and boots. It now takes twice as long to get the kids out of the house, which means we go out half as often. Whole days go by that I never feel fresh air on my face. I hate winter. I like it for the first week when you just feel cozy and festive, but then it quickly turns to a feeling of trapped. I feel like there is the same seasons in life. I think Im in winter there too. I find that I am so frustrated with what I cant do. I run like a hamster on a wheel, everyday the same. I get up and all the things I cleaned yesterday are already dirty. It doesnt matter that I cooked Three meals the day before, I still have to do it again today. I never seem to get ahead. I see stay home moms that seem to flourish. You know the kind. The ones who make fun crafts with their kids in their lovely decorated, clean homes in their stylish clothes that they found at some amazing bargain. and in their spare time they scrapbook or make homemade jewelery.How do they do it. Is it just because they have super complacent children who never make messes or break things or climb the walls. Do they have degrees in early childhood education. Maybe I need to read more parenting magazines. I love my kids. I really do. I want to give them the best. I just pull my hair out trying to do it. (speaking of which how do they get time to get their haircut) Alright so maybe Im going a little overboard. Its just that when winter hits, so does my depression. There are things I would love to fit into my life but Im not sure how to do it in the present place we are living. I would like to take a photography class, an art class for those who always wanted to but never thought they would be good enough so they dont even know the basics, an excercise class. As far as I know none of these are available here right now. I need to find something to get me off my sorry, self pitying, buttox or its going to be a very long winter.