New Life

Silent flutterings, So intimate
Hearts beating in complete trust and dependence
Our faces blank strangers
But in an instant
Recognition beyond all comprehension
Every movement a dance of anticipation
My life dedicated to the creation of yours

- Lynnette Stahl

Its Over

Just a quick update to thank you all for your prayers and support. My little lady is back to terrorizing the house and I never thought I would be so grateful to see toys scattered everywhere and constantly be rescuing her from some nook or cranny she has gotten herself into. She is slowly putting the weight back on and in a few days she should be back to where she was.

Mike also finished school on friday and so we can begin to get our lives back to normal, whatever that is. That part in the bible where we are told that God will not give you anymore than you can handle proved true this week. God knew I couldnt take another day and he allowed it to end. I cant imagine what parents whose children are critically ill, must go through.

Thanks everyone for caring. All you parents out there who are going through this flu too, I am thinking of you and praying it wont last too long.

Tired

So tonight I am writing out of exhaustion and frustration and the need to vent somewhere, Anywhere. Im sure any mother out there will understand what I am talking about when I say I am stretched incredibly thin right now and feeling very alone. Allow me to explain.

Today is day 4 of watching my little 17 month old vomit every scrap of food I can get her to eat, which isnt much to start with. It all started Saturday night at about 11 pm. After about 12 hours of vomitting and at least five loads of laundry, we took her to emergency because she was showing all the signs of dehydration. They watched her at the hospital for about an hour and of course she never threw up while we were there. That would have made our visit look a little more legit. I always feel like they think I am an over paranoid mother when I take her in. I feel like they look at me and think "oh young new mom". Ask most people that know me and they will tell you I am pretty layed back for a first time through. So after feeling relieved that my baby was on the mend and stupid for wasting doctors valuable time, we came home to do more laundry.

At this point I thought we were in the clear. But a few hours later the fever started. After battleing that for the rest of the night I fell into an exhausted sleep thinking it would all be over in the morning. Now remember that part at the beginning of this blog where I mentioned day four?

Each day seems like things are getting better and just when I think I have done the last load of laundry and cleaned up the last carpet mess it seems to start all over. Yesterday there was a whole other adventure thrown into the mix. The town shut off my water from 8 in the morning till 11:30 at night. Apparently no one told them I had sick toddler.

The hardest part is feeling so incredibly helpless. She is skinny to start with but now I can see her ribs and her little tummy doesnt stick out any more. When she throws up she looks at me crying and asking to be all done. Sometimes she says sorry because she thinks she is being punished. I am just so tired and helpless. Mike is going to school in the city during the day and so I am home alone with no car. He has so much studying and homework to do when he is home that he cant really help out. I know this can't last forever, its just hard when I am in the middle of it. I've never quite felt emotions like this. This whole motherhood thing is a crazy job.

Best Date Ever

Well this weekend my sweet hubby blew me away with an awesome valentine's present. For all those of you who listen to CKUA, you have probably heard The Old-Disc Jockey. Its a great show that plays big band music from the era of fantastic live dance music. Swing, Jive, all the goodies. Well Mike heard on the show that there was going to be a big band dinner and dance in calgary so he got us tickets to such a great night. We arrived a little early and as we sat at our table we watched everyone arriving. It was 90% gray hairs. We watched them enter with canes and walkers and wondered if anyone would actually dance. Well when that music started we were put to shame. Walkers and canes disapeared and pace makers kicked into high gear. It was amazing to watch all these couples who had obviously been dancing together for decades. It was so inspiring to watch these couples, so obviously still in love and haveing so much fun together. The folks at our table were so sweet and tried to teach us to dance. My generation is clueless.
A highlight of our evening was meeting the Old-disc Jockey himself, John Worthington. What a funny man.









Next year we expect you all to come join us. To hear a sample of the great orchestra look up southern stardust. Sorry I dont know how to make a link.

The Good Times

After my last entry I wanted to balance it out with the other side of my life. Although there are many battles, moments like these make it all worth while

Temper Tantrums

So first off I would like to say that "the Terrible Two's" is an incredibly inaccurate saying. Maybe my child is just advanced but at 16 months we are fully engulfed in the "testing of boundaries" This was something I knew was coming. I have worked with enough children to know that it is a perfectly normal stage and depending on how it is handled can mold what the next several years of discipline will entail. My question is Why the crap does everyone else not seem to realize that temper tantrums are a normal part of toddler hood. Allow me to explain.

How many times have you been in a store and seen ( more like heard) a child screaming at the
top of their lungs. Correct me if I am wrong but it seems fairly frequent to me. So then why does everyone stop and stare like they are seeing some grotesque freak of nature. First off a child throws a tantrum because they want attention. Stop giving them attention and eventually they will stop. Dont stop and stare and give the parents unwanted advice. YOU ARE MAKING THINGS WORSE. Today for example was one of those days. My sweet little daughter was testing the waters. Ok, I get my battle face on and Im ready to dance. We go for a walk outside and she insists on walking rather than riding in the stroller. Fine. Well then she decides she is not going to follow where we need to go and that she should stand in the middle of streets with lots of traffic. This is where things get good. After warning her that if she doesnt walk nice then she will have to ride in the stroller, she tries to run away. I put her in the stroller and the screaming begins. So does the staring. An older man stops right beside us and says very condesendingly, " Well maybe she will come with me" I smile and then turn and ignore him. He continues to stand there until I have things under control. Ready to Jump right in.

A few minutes later we have another little challenge and when the screaming begins, a woman walks up to us and says " What seems to be the problem, Why is she so angry?" I explain even though it is none of this random strangers business. She tells me that my child has too much of a temper for her age. I again smile, and turn and walk away. Who are these people? Leave me alone to parent my child. Every child in the world pushes the limit sometimes. Dont look at me like Im a bad parent when I am teaching my child a lesson. Just help me out by completely ignoring us and carrying on with your own business.

That feels better. I just needed to get this off my chest so that I am in a better state of mind to deal with the next tantrum.